OMG I Went to the Usher Concert!

Laughter and excitement is very much a part of the moving forward process when you experience sickness and grief among other things. Laughter brings healing, but it’s hard to partake in once you’ve been through so much pain. One of my sisters invited me out to the Usher OMG concert in DC last night. I felt privileged and honored that she would even consider going out with me. Because of the path that I have chosen to take in training for ministry, most people would think I am too “holy” for that sort of thing. To be effective in service (which is really what ministry is about)you have to be balanced. When you become so holy that God can't use you, you have to ask yourself, "Am I really following God or religion?" I’m at a different point in life and although I won’t buy or overplay all types of music, I can still appreciate it. My sister was so excited but I was indifferent. I haven’t really listened to that type of music for pleasure in a long time simply b/c I’ve needed music that speaks to my soul and encourages my faith, healing, and survival. Even though most mainstream artists are talented, their music doesn’t compliment where I am in life. That’s the way I feel about Usher and Trey Songz. I didn’t know Trey could sing like that. In fact I really didn’t know most of the songs he was singing, but I will definitely be playing his album when my husband and I are ready to be fruitful and multiply again. LOL. I watched the women around me as they screamed and clapped, making lustful comments about their desire for him. I clapped because he was talented. The intimate songs made me think of my husband. Trey is cute and charming. I can’t deny that, but he is not my Greg. I could recognize the growth that has taken place in me over the past couple of years and how deeply rooted my affection is for my husband. It’s a different type of love. The one that I now realize most women will dream of but never experience because they refuse to trust in God to bring it. I couldn’t help but wonder what type of gospel and inspirational songs would Trey and Usher sing when they can no longer depend on the sex appeal that has brought them such fame and success. I couldn’t help but think about my Tre’ and how he would have grown up every time I heard Trey Songz’ name. Would my son had have the talent to sing if God had have chosen to bless the earth with him for a longer period of time? I saw women holding angels wings in the crowd. They were Trey’s angels. It reminded me of my little angel. I felt the spirit of suicide try to creep up as emotions flooded my being in my balcony seat. Recognizing the spirit, I immediately grabbed my chair, recited scriptures, and prayed until it went away. In less than 5 minutes I was back in concert mode. There was a time when I couldn’t pray for myself because I was too weak and my husband would have to hold me, pray for me, and recite scriptures for me until it went away. I would blare gospel music through the house on a regular basis so that I could hear the words of life that I couldn't pull from within. This was actually my first outing without my husband as I take baby steps into the world again. I thank God for giving me His word to be my strong medicine. I’m not above pharmaceuticals, I have just been graced to not need them at this point in my life. Going back to the concert, when Usher came out it was on and popping. He was flying all over the stadium, and I could tell he wanted to be Michael Jackson so bad as a little boy. He even did a mini tribute with glitter shoes, asking the crowd, "is it all right if I fill these shoes?" I didn't mind him dancing in glitter shoes to Michael's "Don't Stop Till You Get Enough". I like that song. It is the same song I beat my sister in dancing to the MJ Experience Wii game in some heels, coat, and a dress. She thought I couldn't do it, but I let the song take me away. I'm sure Usher knows that Micheal's shoes can't be filled. He is filling his own shoes, but Michael has influenced the way he fills them. Michael’s music inspired Usher to be the out the box performer he is today. That’s what good music does, it inspires. I danced, I sung, I clapped. I knew most of the songs he sung from his 16 year career. My eyes were glued on the dancers, reminded of my passion. I danced in my mind all the way home, realizing that I had been inspired to want to dance on a great level again but not quite sure how. As my sister turned the car on, gospel blared from the radio. The songs ministered to my soul in ways that the songs from Usher and Trey could not, reminding me of God’s love and grace on this journey forward. I will dance is another commitment I made to my son. Dance was the instrument that brought my husband and I together in the first place. I will dance as I move forward. God will teach me how; He always has. Overall I had fun at the concert. It brought me laughter, excitement, and inspiration to keep moving forward.