Random Week

So I've been slacking on my posts. Sometimes it just seems like there are not enough hours in the day. Lately I have been working on my business, volunteering, dancing. etc. I may start teaching Zumba soon and I'm really excited about that. I have a couple of meetings lined up next week so we'll see how that goes. Meanwhile every night is Zumba night in my house. Me, my husband, and the dogs jam it out in the living room. I've been asked many times if it's hard for me now since the one year anniversary for Tre's death is approaching. For me no, not really it's just like every other day. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him and wish he were still here. I often wonder how that would be and how he would interact with others. There will always always always feel like a part of me is missing, even on my best days. Even now when I am starting to bounce back. The thing that keeps me going is my faith and trust in God. I know God doesn't make mistakes. I might not understand everything, but He is always in control and I am forever grateful for the time that I did have as an active mother because God really didn't have to give me that. These days I try not to focus on the loss, but on what I have gained in motherhood and memories as I prepare for our other children. I don't want to commemorate Tre's death, but his life. I'm still brainstorming ways to do that. The best way that I can do that right now is by submitting to God and keeping the commitment I made to Tre'. The only life lesson I had a chance to teach him really was to live by faith, and he is always watching me now so I have to make sure that I practice what I preached. I told my baby I would continue to live life as if his had just begun. It's been really hard to do that for the past year, but things are looking up. The joy of the Lord is my strength, and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 was the first scripture that I memorized after I got saved at 13, and it still keeps me today.